I believe I either have really bad karma or my entertainment center is cursed.
Three weeks ago the basement leaked again. Right behind the entertainment center. We moved the entertainment center to discover that it's apparently been leaking for a while now because the bottom of the cabinets were rotting away and the carpet was stained with mold.
So after disassembling the mess of stereo wires that connect all our little entertainment components (because everything is better in digital surround sound) and look like something out of one of those warning pictures of fire hazards, we disassemble the 500 lb cabinets and begin scrubbing the carpet.
I probably doused the carpet with a 1/2 gallon of bleach.
No way in hell was I going to dish out thousands of dollars to replace something that has the potential to get ruined... again.
And lo and behold, the stains came out, the mold was killed and the entertainment center (which will have to be trashed after we sell) looked good enough from the front that you couldn't tell that barely anything was supporting it.
See, I say it might be cursed because at our old house the basement leaked.
Only behind the entertainment center.
And now this basement leaks.
Only behind the entertainment center.
I relandscaped the front yard to direct the water away from the front of the house where the wall is leaking. And I put a long drain tube on the downspout to keep all that water away also.
Last night I was awoken around 1 a.m. by a huge storm. I put on a bathrobe. Only a bathrobe. And headed downstairs and out the front door.
I wanted to make sure my contraption was working on the downspout (it was a bit rigged).
It wasn't. The tube I put on the downspout was too small to support the amount of water coming off the roof and it pouring water around the spout/tube connection.
I could see the water pooling by the house. Apparently my landscaping didn't help.
The lightning and thunder were constant. The water shooting out of the downspout looking like someone had opened a fire hydrant.
Something had to be done and be done fast if I didn't want all that water in my basement.
Thinking that a shovel wouldn't be a good idea with all the lighting, I began to furiously claw at the dirt making a trench to get the water away from the house.
Within seconds the robe is drenched. I'm drenched.
It's 1:00 in the morning and I'm digging in the mud with my hands during a huge thunderstorm.
Oh what a proud moment. It's times like these that I'm glad that we don't have security cameras anywhere nearby.
I probably looked like I was trying to bury a body or something.
The trench got dug, er, clawed to the point that the water was going away from the house.
And just at the moment I got done with that, the tornado sirens went off.
To say I freaked would be an understatement. I didn't quite scream out loud, but there were lots of "oh shits". Very quickly my mind wondered if that dull roaring sound I heard was rolling thunder or a funnel cloud about to pick up my body and throw it down the street.
Just what I need. My naked body (because the robe wasn't tied very well) tossed down the street and the neighbors wondering what the hell I was doing outside during a tornado.
I had no idea what that roar was so I dashed into the house, wet and muddy (over carpets we'd just had cleaned, but who cares. it's all about to get blown away anyway) Ran upstairs and scared the shit out of my dog when I grabbed his covered kennel with him in it. Grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that were on the bed (because I'll be damned if I'm going to repeat the "being-found-dead-and-naked" mistake.) and dashed back downstairs. Grabbed Oliver's leash as I headed around the corner and down the stairs into the leaky basement.
It's been a long time since I've really felt a true adrenaline rush. I'd forgotten what it was like.
The kennel with the dog in it felt like nothing.
And the stuffed nose that was keeping me awake? Completely clear.
Oliver was shaking when I took him out of his cage. My freaking out freaked him out. I put on the shorts and shirt and realized I had no shoes. If the storm didn't kill me, I was going to bleed to death walking over the tattered remains of our house.
At that moment I also realized that there's no safe place in the basement.
It's really one big room with a bathroom and small storage area. But the big room has two windows. The bathroom has plate glass doors on the shower and two large, mirrored closet doors. And the storage room is accessed through two more large, mirrored closet doors.
So my plan, if need be, was to head to the corner by the stairs and cower, with Oliver, under an overturned recliner.
But as I get the TV turned on, I find out that the tornado is already past.
However, my body has not been informed of this. And neither has Ollie. We stay in the basement for the next 45 minutes.
I try to get to sleep but I've still got that shaky feeling.
I'm not worried though because Friday is "field day" at school. No teaching. I don't really even need to be there.
This morning, Friday morning, I head right to the basement.
The carpet's wet again. The entertainment center will once again need to be disconnected, disassembled and the carpet cleaned.
And field day is cancelled.
Seriously. Does anyone know any rituals here? I'd be willing to sling a chicken head around the yard if I thought it would help.
