Who dis?

My friend from H.S., Jacquelyn, called the other day. It's been many months since we've spoken. One of the first casualties of my busy life is my friends. But my real friends keep coming back because they know that my humor and wit are worth waiting for.

That being said, Jacquelyn was really first to point out the humorlessness of my posts. And I had to, sadly, agree. I suppose it's the dichotomy that is Kevin that I've mentioned before. In person I'm the jovial, joking, witty type who gets uncomfortable in "serious" situations and always tries to lighten any mood with a joke. I am the original shit-starter in faculty meetings (which besides dull and drone end up taking a tone of seriousness that bespeaks the strains that teachers are under.) And online, my serious, often VERY serious side comes out.

My best audiences for my humor are typically educated non-pretentious folks. Therefore, my humor usually falls flat on the folks at the opera. Unless I'm making a snarky remark on the conducting style of the maestro (humor that falls squarely in sarcasm, a genre I don't have much respect for) or a paltry take on the sometimes squeaky soprano, they have NO interest in what I'm saying.

Teachers, however, I've found to be my best audience. They're typically educated folks who, often, but NOT always, have a humbleness on their shoulders. And especially the elementary folks who usually only wander as far as their "TIME for kids" to get their news. They're usually pretty simple folk. And they're NOT used to someone blurting out the unexpected at meetings.

And only three days out of school and every example I could give has escaped. I typically try to clean my brain of everything "school" faster than I ran from that tranny hooker back in college.

In any case, she's read the names of many folks on here and couldn't keep them all straight... or gay for that matter. So here's a short run-down of folks I might mention. If one of them is you and you'd rather I edit you out, just let me know.

Mom and Dad- self-explanatory. Mom might sometimes be referred to as Jeanette and dad as Bill.

Jim- My brother: the designated breeder of the family.

Denise- my lesbian sister: the keep of the neurotic dog sanctuary.

Dustin- my boyfriend/a sociopath

Jordan- His laid-back 14/yo daughter who lives with us.

Stevie- His princess 12/yo daughter who's living situation is up in the air.

Ted- my best friend (gay and only friend who lives close) who's not going to live close anymore come July.

Jill- my (straight) best-friend from college who was partly responsible for me moving to Kansas from Iowa. She's since moved to NM with her beau. I miss her terribly.

Vic- My best-friend (straight) from college I met in the corn fields of Iowa. (literally)

Jacquelyn- (straight, though I've encouraged her to try the lesbian route) One of only two friends I keep in touch with from H.S. if only to live vicariously through her fabulous life ranging from TX to NYC. (and she's damn funny)

Adam- we met as toddlers, went all through school together and was his best man. (the only wedding I've cried at)

Tricia 1- my fag-hag in HS, even though I didn't know it at the time. I refer to her as my whore-slut friend. My brother calls her butt-skanky-ho. We've actually been estranged for almost 10 years now.

Tricia 2- Dustin's white trash ex-wife.

Joe- (gay) One of the few folks from online that I've actually met recently and keep in regular contact with. A super good guy who I wish I could see more often.

SO. there's the folks I regularly talk to/about.

And, though depressing, it's true that besides Ted, I honestly have no friends here. I've thought about why for a long time. Some of you folks about there who live on an unseen/unspoken short leash might understand. But even when I was single, I didn't have many friends. I think I'm really just THAT picky on who I hang out with.

I don't typically get along with other music folks because they're, well, usually just odd. Either they're so wrapped up in themselves or they're so wrapped up in their world of music that they have no concept of a world outside that.

And on top of that, unless I feel an immediate connection, I usually don't pursue friendships. The folks I've tried to "make" friendships work with never panned out. The friendships I have are with folks with whom friendship came effortlessly.

Maybe I'm just lazy?

AHHHH, summer break.