mommy dearest

June 14th, 2007

(I'm back tracking, I know)

Let me start by telling you about the town I grew up in.

Growing up, New Baden, IL had a population of 1500. Small bedroom community close to the interstate. 15 minutes from the Scott Airforce Base and 30 minutes from St. Louis. It's a great place to grow up. We never locked our doors. Kids could wander around town without mom worrying if we'll be snachted. The elementary was close enough to walk to, no matter where you lived in town. You could walk almost anywhere in town in about 10 minutes. (Though people rarely did) You could cover almost the entire town on Halloween. Any kid under 4 ft tall could easily enter the cities storm sewer. There was an awesome gully just north of town filled with dumped washers, fridges, all ripe for the imagination. The subdivision built in the 70's was still called the "new" subdivision since no other developer had tried to build since then.

Anything new in town was a big deal. When the Handee Mart put on a laundromat called the Washee-Washee (spelled out in faux-Chinese script) The big news was that not only did it have bathrooms, but there were CONDOMS in that bathroom.

When the new Shell station opened, we trekked across a muddy field just to go buy something there. We got sunflower seeds.

When a new subdivision finally started popping up down the road from my house, we oogled at how big the first house was.

We thought we had it all. There were 3 gas stations, a restaraunt, a couple bars, an ice-cream place and a grocery store.

What else could you need?

Tolerance? Exceptance? Open-mindedness?

Pish.

New Baden is a great place to live if you're straight, married, have kids and go to church.

If anything is missing from that checklist, you were talked about.

"Why is that man single?" "Why don't they have kids?" "They must be devil-worshipers. They don't go to church."

Which is where mom comes to the rescue.

It must be in her nature to be tolerant, excepting and open-minded. I know from personal experience.

She tolerated all my imaginative creations growing up. Such as putting a theatre in the garage. Buying food for my 7 course meals. Letting me redo my bedroom by almost destroying it. Killing some of her beloved lilacs so I could have a fort. Using her lemonade to make profit for myself.

And exceptance because no matter what I did, she was always there. Always supportive. Always nurturing. Always loving.

When my sister came out, my mom was mom. She loved her all the same.

When I came out, one of her first questions was about my boyfriend at the time.

Seriously, this woman is incredible.

And that's why she does't deserve the cards she's been dealt.

As of today, mom has had: 1. her rotator cuff operated on (followed by 6 months of recovery) 2. her right foot rebuilt (followed again by months of non-weight bearing) 3. both knees replaced 4. her left foot rebuilt 5. her hip replaced.

And now #6, the hip replacement had to be replaced.

On top of all that, she has a nervous system thing (can't remember the name) that is slowly causing her to loose all sensation from the hips down.

She's in almost constant pain.

And yet through all that she still comes to visit. Even if it's just to see me run my first triathlon, or come her the Lawrence Children's Choir.

She never asks for help even when she should. She more concerned with her children's well-being and the well-being of the people around her.

So on June 13th, the day after my birthday, I headed to St. Louis to see mom in the hospital post surgery.

I'm so used to seein mom in a state of post-surgery, I'm almost numb to the effect it would have on most people to see their parent in the hospital.

Maybe that's a good thing. Because I'm sure one day I'm going to inherit all this health crap she has going on and I'm going to be an old man yelling at the nurse to change my diaper.

One of the few things that I almost (ALMOST) wish is that I had kids of my own to take care of me in my old age. One fears is not that one day I will be going through all of what my mom is going through. But that I will be doing it alone.

Visit mom. Bring her flowers. Get ready for camp.