gayly forward

I came home a day earlier than I had planned. I was going to come home Saturday, August 4. But Dustin's birthday was Friday, August 3.

And the whole week I had been gone was not a great week back in Topeka. When I left, we had one of Dustin's teenage daughters living with us. When I came home, she was living with her mom. There's was lots of drama that I don't need to go into here. And, no, Dustin didn't kick her out. But suffice to say, spending your birthday alone in a big house sucks.

So I made the 8 hour drive straight home from camp. But I had planned to pick up his birthday present, a specialty pair of boots, along the way on Saturday. And to make it on time, before they close, to the only store I know that sells them, I had to break the law.

I'm usually a very law abiding citizen. Or at least close to it. I may not agree with all speed limits, but I won't go more than 5 mph over what is posted if only because I don't want a ticket. I am a prime example that detersion works.

But to make it to the store, I had to go 20 to 25 miles over the 70 mph speed limit on the freeway. I was exhausted when I started the drive. But the adrenaline caused by going that fast minus a speeding buddy kept me WIDE awake.

I got there 15 minutes before they closed and resumed normal speeds the last 2 hours of the drive.

We needed a serious diversion from the home dramas. And the closet diversion from Topeka is a gay resort called the Habana in Oklahoma City.

Though many call it a resort, it's really little more than an old, well-kept Best Western. The grounds are nicely landscaped and maintained, but the rooms, especially the mattresses are largely ignored. I'm assuming it's because the owners know exactly what happens in the rooms and that most men do not go to that hotel to sleep.

But gay men must have a lush background when photographed by a pool. And there the Habana delivers.

We drove the 4 hours Saturday. Dustin gets upset because I'm still tired and being poky about getting ready. But we're still in time to get out by the pool and people watch.

OK. Let me be honest folks. There's a reason for many stereotypes. Gay men really are cruisey. Many many gay men just want sex. And the fact that they're cruising for other horny men doesn't help.

But you need to be honest too. If straight men could get away with it, they'd be just as promiscuous.

As we sit by the pool, surrounded by two stories of walk-out motel rooms, we get quite a show.

Men sit by their windows with the drapes open. Advertising.

Men walk around the balconies and sidewalks waiting for an invitation.

And all this at 5 p.m.

As I have always said: Hook-up early. Hook-up often.

But the best part of the show is the men. Old men. Young men. None too terribly good looking. Many look like the kind of guy who has a permanent lube stain on his couch from playing with himself too much.

Dustin and I guess that the two really good looking guys are probably call-boys.

At the pool there's a couple large men wearing way too little.

And then a 70 y/o, pasty, over weight man walks in. He takes off his shorts to reveal... I almost can't say it... a loin cloth.

With nothing under it.

We left the pool not long after.

After a short disco nap, we dressed in our best cowboy drag and headed to the country bar in the hotel.

I enjoy the bar for the same reason women enjoy the bar: Fishing.

But I have a catch and release policy. There's no harm in wetting your appetite at the bar and then going home to eat.

However, the catches weren't all that great. Dustin caught a guy I called greasy mullet. (let your imagination fill in the rest.)

I caught a group of friendly locals who invited us to a hot tub. We declined.

We go back to the room. And when I get up at 9:00 a.m. (on a Sunday, mind you) I'm more than shocked to find guys already cruising.

Let me stop for a second and get something gay: Not all gay men are like that.

But why are these guys cruising at 9:00 a.m.? Because they can? Because the society we live in still treats them like second-class citizens? Because they were denied the carnal pleasures that most guys get in J.H.?

I don't know. But I know it happens. All the time.

Most gay men I know have to go through a slutty phase when they first come out. They have to get all the sex out of the way that our straight counterparts were done with by 22. (hopefully) But most gay men, (at least the ones I associate with) grew out of that.

I grew out of it because I still believe in commitment and loyalty. Maybe these guys just haven't found a guy they want or can commit to.

Then again, maybe their just horny.

We head home around noon. Believe it or not, it was a great trip. Every once in a while, it's just nice to be around "family."

And you can't beat the people watching possibilities at gay hotels and bars.