projects aplenty

I'm the first to admit that I'm a stickler for details. Which is why so many projects get pushed to the sidelines. I know that a simple project is going to take far longer than the creation of the earth because I have to have it nearly perfect when it's done. (nearly, because even *I* know that I'm not ever going to be perfect.)

From the day we moved into this house nearly two years ago, I started renovating and redecorating. In my head.

The first thing we planned was to replace the 80's throwback faucet in the kitchen. We had actually planned to redo the whole kitchen, cabinets and all. While the cabinets are fine and most straight folks love love love seeing all oak woodwork in a house, it's all a bit, well, straight for me.

I wanted cherry cabinets.

But then we priced it, and that went out the window.

So I settled for replacing the tarnished brass hardware. In my head.

Then comes the painting.

The laundry room was a shiny, dark, lipstick red. The 1/2 bath was covered in a gaudy floral wall-paper. And the dining room was sunshine yellow. The kitchen and back hall, we discovered, had never been painted. The builder's "off-white" was still there, 13 years later.

That first winter we painted the kitchen right before Christmas. The paint was still drying when family showed up.

Last year, I tore the wall paper off the 1/2 bath. And with it, half the wall board underneath because someone didn't properly seal the walls before applying industrial strength adhesive to the paper. And, yes, I tried that little scoring thingy, soaking the paper, steaming the paper, praying with the paper.

So I had my first experience with skimcoating the entire 1/2 bath with a new layer of joint compound. The best comparison, (and I know this is gay) is frosting a cake. You always try to get it as smooth as possible, but you always end up with those riffs and plateaus. I figured in the case of the walls, I would have the benefit of being able to sand it then paint it with a flat paint. Because they say flat paint covers the small imperfections.

I also discovered they had hung the light fixture without a junction box (that's the little plastic box behind the drywall that the wires run into and the light is screwed into.) It was just a hole, with wires dangling and the light was attached to the drywall. And when I tried to put up the new fixture, the only thing holding it up was some wet paint and a little hope.

The skim coat I put up was awful. After I painted, I noticed that the flat Tuscan red color I had chosen actually made my flaws look worse. What resulted looked like a topical map of the southwest. And again, the paint was wet when people showed up for Christmas last year.

The entire room needed to be re-skimcoated and sanded.

On top of that, I had only gotten around to replacing about half of the ugly brass hardware in the kitchen with my elegant oil-rubbed bronze pulls and hinges. And while I had hoped to replace all of the dirty, scratched and yellowing off-white switches and outlets with clean white new ones, I had only gotten to the switches thus far.

This spring, we had high hopes of lots of projects. We got new faucets. New lights. More paint. New hinges and handles for the doors. The rest of the hinges and pulls for the kitchen. Tile for the laundry room. Tile for the wall behind the stove.

And here we are in fall and the piles of materials still sit in the dining room.

Until last week.

I had what my cousin calls a Popeye moment. "I just can't takes it anymore!"

I don't know if it was the tons of the original, 13 y/o tarnished brass handles, knobs, hinges, lights and faucets that still remained (all to be replaced with oil-rubbed bronze.) but here, my dear readers, is the list of what I've accomplished in the last week. And why I haven't written anything lately.

1. re-skimcoated the 1/2 bath.
2. removed a section of drywall and installed a junction box.
3. replaced drywall section.
4. sanded the high gloss lipstick colored laundry room.
5. replaced the handles and hinges on 6 interior doors.
6. replaced front door handle and hinges.
7. installed kick-plate and new handle on front storm door.
8. replaced 15 outlets.
9. replaced 6 air vents
10. replaced 2 light switches.
11. sanded and painted front door trim.
12. replaced 52 cabinet hinges.
13. replaced 4 cabinet pulls.
14. sanded and sanded and sanded the 1/2 bath.
15. painted the 1/2 bath
16. painted the laundry room.
17. removed laundry room linoleum.
18. painted laundry room cabinets, door and window.
19. painted ceilings in laundry room, back hall and 1/2 bath.
20. installed new light in 1/2 bath.
21. installed new mirror in 1/2 bath.
22. installed new faucet in 1/2 bath.
23. oiled and cleaned woodwork, cabinets and doors.

I know. All that in just a week.

And I'm still not done.

We still have to put tile in the laundry room and behind the stove, paint the living room, replace the kitchen faucet, restain the deck furniture, paint the master bedroom, master bath and all it's trim, door and windows, hang three ceiling fans, fix two toilets, replace one window AND landscape the front yard.

And I'm still on the Popeye kick for now. So it may be a while before you hear from me again.