outting

I'm very excited. This is the first post I've gotten to use a double entendre in the title.

I teach between two schools. One is in the middle of Lawrence straddling the hipster/artist and old professor neighborhoods. At parent teacher conferences you'll see a dad in a tweed jacket waiting next to a gothish, dread-locked mom. I guess what I'm saying is that it's liberal.

The other school it way out in the country. Until the 90's, it was it's own district. All the farmers' property taxes went right to that little school. Then when the farmers started leaving, the school was strapped for cash and sucked in by the much larger Lawrence Public School system. The families around that school are the kind of families who have grandparents who went to that school. And the teachers there taught those grandparents. I guess what I'm saying is that they're not big on change.

It probably goes without saying that I feel more comfortable opening up about my personal life at one school more than the other.

I've only discussed my private life with exactly three co-teachers at the country school. And apparently it was enough to scare two of them away.

The community is so close knit out there that you can't drop a pin without the rest of the school and every parent knowing about it. So mums the word. Especially when nosy parents who are well-enough intentioned, and from whom I need support, get to asking questions like, "So when am I ever gonna meet this wife of yours? It's been four years now and still haven't seen her!"

This only tells me that they're talking about it when I'm not around.

Well, last week, they were given something else to talk about.

The beginning of this school year I came out to one other colleague. She's a traveling social worker for the district. She reminds me of my friend Jill from college. So I immediately liked her. And when I found out her best friend was as gay-as-a-picnic, I felt OK coming out to her and sharing a bit about my life.

Then, last week after school, I was cornered on the playground by a nosy parent and a couple teachers. We were basically talking shop when one of the parents shared that she was working as a para educator at another school. She mentioned something about a music colleague of mine whom I co-teach with occasionally. But instead of using the word colleague, she chose the word "Partner."

The social worker was close by and only overheard a bit of the conversation. She comes over and says, "You're partner works in the Lawrence Schools? I thought he had a good job at Goodyear and that's why you too stayed in Topeka?"

My eyes got big as I looked at her and said, "Um, my MUSIC partner at PINCKNEY. SETH."

She could tell by the horrified looks on everyone faces that she'd just accidentally outted me and then quickly found something she needed to be doing leaving me to worm my way out.

After a second of silence I said something about needing to get to the gym. I'm sure they interpreted that to mean "Have anal sex with a man."

Coincidentally, earlier that week I scheduled hetero on Friday with Trainer/Friend Beth. An 'outting' if you will to celebrate her new job (Yea Beth! You're a big girl now!) And oh, the things you straight boys could learn from us fags.

Beth to Kevin: "That was the best date I've had in over a year."

Here's my date rules:
1. Pick her up.
2. Bring flowers. Tulips are always classic.
3. Open her car door.
4. If you're going casual, sit at the tables by the bar. Usually faster service anyway.
5. The conversation should be 30% about you, 70% about her. Of you're 30%, you need to spend at least 5% on compliments. But not more than 10%. Then you seem desperate.
6. Alcohol is good.
7. Don't stare at the other girls (or boys) in the restaurant.
8. Eat like a lady.
9. Casual touching is OK in the restaurant. But save the drunken groping till you're in private.
10. Pay for the meal. (sorry Beth, I broke this rule. But you're rich now.)
11. Take her home. Don't go in unless you're invited. And don't go in at all if it's the first date.
12. Wait till she's safely inside before you drive off.
13. If you had a good time, screw the "wait three days till you call" rule.

If you boys could just follow these rules, you'd get a LOT more call backs.

sidenote: works for gay men too. Just replace "girl" and "her" with "gurl" or "the queen"